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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Getting by

I've re-read my previous posts, and to say I feel sheepish would be the understatement of the year. I can't really explain what was going on. Even when I was feeling at my worst, I understood that my life was not that bad; that my med school plans were salvageable; that MiniMan needed a mom, and my husband, his wife. Even though I could grasp those ideas, everything still seemed hopeless. I knew that my reaction wasn't rational, but it was completely overwhelming.

Not long after writing those posts, I ended up talking to my doctor (even though I was terrified that she would involuntarily hospitalize me). She didn't. We both agreed that it would make me feel worse. I agreed not to do anything until the next time I saw her. For a while I was seeing her practically every day. I don't know why she was willing to invest so much attention in me (it definitely would have been easier to send me off to the hospital), but I'm grateful for it.

9 comments:

  1. So glad to hear from you.

    Take good care.

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  2. I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better.

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  3. Glad you're back. Keep us updated. It's almost a brand new year, after all. :-)

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  4. Thank you for posting again. I just read "Winter" and it was so frightening.

    Do not feel sheepish, you were in the depths of depression--you were/are suffering from an illness. You wouldn't feel sheepish if you had been suffering from pancreatitis or septic arthritis!

    You must have been under an enormous amount of stress; you are striving for great things whilst trying to be a mother, a wife, and hold down a job. Go easy on yourself--it is ok to take things day by day for now while you are healing.

    You have the rest of your life for long term plans. Medical school will still be there in a year, five years, ten years.

    So very very very relieved and happy that you are still with us, and I can guarantee your husband and child are as well.

    You are in my prayers.

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  5. Thank God you talked with your doctor. I've been worrying about you and hoping that you'd talked with someone. Please keep working with her. I hope that things continue to feel better and more hopeful.

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  6. Sweet Jesus it's good to read you again.

    Been so worried.

    So very glad you're still around!

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  7. Thank God! I have been worried too. I just got back to work (time to catch up on blogs... :-)

    I am proud of you for getting help.

    Best of luck with everything!

    Lindsay

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  8. Depression is like that. Sometimes irrational, impossible things need to be said. It's necessary, and it helps.

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