Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Getting by

I've re-read my previous posts, and to say I feel sheepish would be the understatement of the year. I can't really explain what was going on. Even when I was feeling at my worst, I understood that my life was not that bad; that my med school plans were salvageable; that MiniMan needed a mom, and my husband, his wife. Even though I could grasp those ideas, everything still seemed hopeless. I knew that my reaction wasn't rational, but it was completely overwhelming.

Not long after writing those posts, I ended up talking to my doctor (even though I was terrified that she would involuntarily hospitalize me). She didn't. We both agreed that it would make me feel worse. I agreed not to do anything until the next time I saw her. For a while I was seeing her practically every day. I don't know why she was willing to invest so much attention in me (it definitely would have been easier to send me off to the hospital), but I'm grateful for it.


  1. So glad to hear from you.

    Take good care.

  2. I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better.

  3. Glad you're back. Keep us updated. It's almost a brand new year, after all. :-)

  4. Thank you for posting again. I just read "Winter" and it was so frightening.

    Do not feel sheepish, you were in the depths of depression--you were/are suffering from an illness. You wouldn't feel sheepish if you had been suffering from pancreatitis or septic arthritis!

    You must have been under an enormous amount of stress; you are striving for great things whilst trying to be a mother, a wife, and hold down a job. Go easy on yourself--it is ok to take things day by day for now while you are healing.

    You have the rest of your life for long term plans. Medical school will still be there in a year, five years, ten years.

    So very very very relieved and happy that you are still with us, and I can guarantee your husband and child are as well.

    You are in my prayers.

  5. Thank God you talked with your doctor. I've been worrying about you and hoping that you'd talked with someone. Please keep working with her. I hope that things continue to feel better and more hopeful.

  6. Sweet Jesus it's good to read you again.

    Been so worried.

    So very glad you're still around!

  7. Thank God! I have been worried too. I just got back to work (time to catch up on blogs... :-)

    I am proud of you for getting help.

    Best of luck with everything!


  8. Depression is like that. Sometimes irrational, impossible things need to be said. It's necessary, and it helps.